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Listen to your head, not just your heart
Moving to a new home is never an easy decision to make, but it's essential to make the right choice using your head and not just your heart.
Personal coach and prospective Isle of Man resident MELISSA MEHTA explains the crucial importance of knowing what we're aiming for.
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'I think we could be really happy there.'
My Very Significant Other has returned from a weekend on the Isle of Man, signing his new (London-based) job contract and imagining the future.
Next year, the job will move to the Isle of Man. Tired of London, VSO's ready for a radical move, and has been studying estate agents' brochures.
Now it's down to me.
'It's only going to work if you'd be happy there,' VSO says.
Should we stay or should we go?
Looking at pictures of Isle of Man sunsets on the BBC website and scoping the island on Google Earth proves inconclusive.
So I get on a (rather small and empty) plane to take a closer look.
From the air, the island is bigger than I'd imagined. Google Earth is misleading.
Slurping Manx mutton broth in the warm October sunshine I squint to watch seals bobbing around at the Calf.
The sea is glassily calm. I remind myself this is not a holiday. I have to make a decision that could significantly influence the course of our lives and the birthplace of our children.
It is very pretty, but could I be happy here?
I'm a personal coach. Working with clients as they take life changing decisions and successfully navigate change, is what I do.
A key part of coaching is to support clients as they determine exactly what they want, and then go out and achieve it.
It's important to do it in that order. Here's a chance to apply the process to myself.
Sitting in a Clapham coffee shop a few months earlier I'd take some time to work out what I need to be happy, and wrote a shopping list of requirements in a specially designated notebook.
The necessary and sufficient conditions for my happiness boil down to an active social, sporting and music scene; fertile business opportunities; a beautiful environment; the availability of high quality chorizo and somewhere to buy pretty shoes. Remember: 'Awareness precedes clarity, clarity precedes choice, choice precedes action, and action precedes success.'
After three days' exploration, I discover ample opportunities to socialise, over music and sport. The friendliness is welcome and overwhelming.
For us insular London folk, when a complete stranger strikes up conversation, they are usually trying to sell us something.
Simultaneously, I uncover a positive, proactive and opportunity-laden business environment.
The beauty box is ticked within 15 minutes of landing at Castletown. Pretty shoes and chorizo are also identified.
Without awareness and clarity on what success (in my case a happy new life) would be like, I may have spent my entire visit watching seals playing in the surf, vaguely wondering whether I'd be happy living here, and then made a kneejerk decision.
A dangerous tactic. One can be easily distracted by friendly conversation and stunning sunsets.
These ingredients may be necessary, but are insufficient for my ultimate contentment.
Many of us are striving to achieve our life goals, perhaps at work, at home, in the gym, or in our relationships. To ensure we succeed, and achieve contentment and satisfaction, it's important that we confirm that our goals support our values and meet our needs.
Knowing exactly what will bring us that contentment and satisfaction is vital for success and fulfilment.
And writing down our 'must haves' and ticking them off as we go, makes it more likely we'll achieve what we want.
Modern life offers a delicious smorgasbord of dual careers, life-changing relocations, working motherhood, radical working hours, extraordinary travel opportunities, and previously unimaginable choices.
With this cornucopia of delights spread before us, we're in the privileged position of being able to pick and choose.
We must take care to do this wisely.
Back in London, I sit in a noisy restaurant regaling VSO with tales of exploration.
My verdict on my prospective happiness on the IoM? Yes.
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Melissa Mehta is a personal and project coach, currently based in London, with an eye on the Isle of Man. She coaches clients across the British Isles by phone and face-to-face in London. For a free initial consultation visit www.MelissaMehta.com
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WHAT DO YOU THINK?
Send your comments to bizviews@newsiom.co.im
YOUR COMMENTS
The Martians have landed.
PAUL HARRINGTON
Good luck on your move Melissa, I understand how you feel, as we moved here as a family 3 years ago from the London area. I love it here, and sometimes feel that others do not appreciate the beauty and how lucky they are to live in this wonderful place. The facilities, social activities, sport and 100 times better than where I lived before. Sure there are some down sides, but overall it was the best thing we ever did.
MATTHEW, Castletown
Quote: "Simultaneously, I uncover a positive, proactive and opportunity-laden business environment." Hmm….I suppose It's not what you know, but who you know. Opportunity laden? Where????
NICK, Onchan
Dear Matthew from Castletown, Thanks for your encouragement. I'm delighted your move worked out so well, and you're pleased with your decision. Drop me a line Melissa@MelissaMehta.com, and perhaps we can compare notes. Warm wishes,
MELISSA
Dear Nick from Onchan, Thanks for your comment. I knew no one on the IoM before I arrived, so it was definitely 'what I did' rather than 'who I knew'. What did I do? I contacted the IoM Examiner and secured a meeting with the Business News editor, and created the opportunity for writing a column. I called a few potential business partners to line up some meetings, and found them very receptive. I called the Chamber of Commerce and lined up a meeting with the chief exec. And I called up the Department of Trade and Industry, and popped over for a chat. Everyone was positive, proactive and brimming over with ideas and advice. Nick, I'd love you to drop me a line (Melissa@MelissaMehta.com) explaining the types of opportunities you're after and what you've tried already. Perhaps we can put our heads together and work out where to uncover your hidden opportunities. Best wishes,
MELISSA, NB I'm writing on a freelance basis and not on behalf of IoM Newspapers or Business News
Well done Melissa – your PMA serves you well. I look forward to your future pieces for the paper J
MICHELLE
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Weather for Isle of Man
Thursday 23 February 2012
Today
Cloudy
Temperature: 9 C to 12 C
Wind Speed: 22 mph
Wind direction: South west
Tomorrow
Sunny spells
Temperature: 5 C to 10 C
Wind Speed: 17 mph
Wind direction: West
