Beware of the Scots’ bid for independence

Terry Cringle

Terry Cringle

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Chief Minister Allan Bell went public a short time ago in warning that we should consider carefully the possible economic challenges the Isle of Man might face if Scotland decides to become an independent nation next month.

What he didn’t warn us about was the chances of the Scots invading us and conquering us shortly after they go for broke, which is how some people see it.

After all, they’ve done it before you know.

In 1257 King Alexander III of Scotland sent a battle fleet against us, landed at St Michael’s Island, and sent the Manx warriors fleeing for the hills at the Battle of Ronaldsway.

Now we have the prospect of the future King Alexander IV of Scotland, also known (for the present at least) as a Mr Alex Salmond, pulling off a similar wheeze.

Mind you the Scots haven’t got an army or a navy or an air force to do this sort of thing and neither is the Isle of Man similarly kitted out, which could mean an internationally risible stand-off.

But King Alexander IV could persuade the Steam Packet Company to reopen it’s old services to Ardrossan so that thousands of Scots people could come across pretending to be summer holidaymakers enjoying Glasgow Fair Fortnight and take over by way of illegal immigration.

This, you might say, is fair enough. But what they won’t know is that we still have a law that allows us to shoot Scotsmen on sight.

Allan Get Your Gun.

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Pedants’ Corner has the following anonymous contribution: Man to woman: ‘Can I kiss you?’ Woman to man: ‘I don’t know. But you may kiss me if you want to.’

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Cath Cringle (one of my lot) tells me that the Peel Online website announced a concert of ‘scared music.’

She asks: ‘Including the theme from the film Ghostbusters perhaps?’

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Fred Newton recalls my story of my granddaughter flying from Gatwick to the Isle of Man with easyJet, when the captain announced that the flight time would be ‘five minutes.’ This reminded him of the woman who rang her travel agent to ask how long easyJet took to fly to Liverpool. The travel agent replied: ‘Just a minute, madame’

She said: ‘Thank you.’

And rang off.

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In a Manx Radio report from the Commonwealth Games, newsreader Jason Roberts referred to ‘the four metres event.’

He was quick with his correction: ‘Four metres? I could manage that.’

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This week’s Manx crossword clue is sent in from the Yorkshire Post by Frank Bond, as follows: Island is cross between two people (7) – MANXMAN.

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Church notice: ‘Weight Watchers will meet at 7 pm at the First Presbyterian Church. Please use large double door at side entrance.’

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