Hon. Philip Anderson Gawne, MHK, B.Sc.
Department of Infrastructure
My Dear Minister,
I acknowledge that you are an exceptionally busy man.
The very word infrastructure means, as everybody knows, the underlying or basic framework of, in your case, the Isle of Man.
In other words, you’re pretty much responsible for the whole damn thing.
Nonetheless I would like to take up your time with my response to the public consultation you are holding on what should be done in relation to the future of the Douglas promenades.
I understand you have already had more than 400 replies and I can only say that you have brought it upon yourself.
Setting this aside I would agree with most people that the seafront roadway is badly in need of repair and re-surfacing.
My morning drive to work is a real roller coaster ride over patches and potholes and there is one in particular near the Palace Hotel which I bounce over every day.
Yes, I know I should keep a proper lookout. But surely the drive to work, especially on a fine sunny morning such as we have been having, should be a time for quiet contemplation of the day ahead.
(It is also a time for quiet contemplation of the callipygous young matrons stepping out along the promenade walkway with their pushchairs. But this is another matter entirely).
There is no doubt, Minister, that repairing the seafront road surface will place severe strain upon your departmental manpower and other resources, including money.
This means, in my view, that it is time for action by what Mr Cameron would call the Manx Big Society.
Your public consultation has revealed great concern for the seafront roadway, so let the public help you put it right.
Let us help you, Minister, with the roadworks.
I will volunteer to give my labour whenever possible, especially when it comes that wretched pothole by the Palace Hotel.
I am only marginally afraid of hard work and I can tell you that I can bring my own high visibility yellow jacket to my appointed workplace.
It bears the name ‘Cringle Construction’, being a gift years ago from that company.
I would, however, want to borrow one of your crash helmets. They can look rather fetching on a chap.
As for payment, I hope others will follow my example in not seeking money from the public purse.
But if your distinguished colleague the Treasury Minister could take a friendly approach to my next income tax demand, that would be acceptable.
Yours in brotherhood.
PS. As I think infrastructure embraces Cringle’s Rock on the Douglas foreshore, would you mind keeping an eye on it for me?
SUE Grace sends me a cutting from the Daily Telegraph about a rare Chinese vase expected to fetch £14 million at auction in London. It says: ‘The vase comes from a private collection that was acquired piece by piece over 50 years.’
It’s already been under the hammer then?
A COUPLE of Songs for Swinging Manxmen to be going on with – ‘Cooil Water’ and ‘I Wish I Could Shimmin Like My Sister Kate.’