Promenade campaign is down to me

Terry Cringle

Terry Cringle

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Right. The news last week was that there is now an organised campaign by way of Facebook for the de-railing of the Department of Infrastructure’s plans for moving the Douglas horse trams on to the seafront walkway.

Let me say, in all blushing modesty, that I might have had something to do with this happening.

Count me in.

Other news this week is that the DoI have painted lines in places along the walkway to show people where the new tram lines would be. These are at the bottom of Broadway, Marine Gardens, opposite the Palace Hotel and on Queen’s Promenade and, I have to say, they are important.

If the trams stay where they are and these lines are not erased they will be a lasting monument to the folly and futility of it all. But I suppose you have to draw the line somewhere.

Finally, for the moment at least, there are good public finance reasons for leaving the trams where they have always been since 1871. Moving them would cost untold thousands of pounds of Manx taxpayers’ money.

Moving the cars around instead wouldn’t cost us a thing.

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We don’t have one of our usual crossword clues this week but I have a number in reserve sent by Karl Campbell in Australia including, from the Times cryptic; ‘Statesman, smart chap, getting Isle of Man residence (4, 7-4)’.

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Last week’s Isle of Man Courier carried the headline ‘Clubber, 24,convicted of common assault.’

Er, what kind of club?

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Sara Goodwins tells me she was reading a QI book of little known facts and came across: ‘If you removed the water from every life form on earth there would be enough of it to cover the Isle of Man to a depth of one mile.’

Is this taking the . . .

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A friend of mine asked why, when he drives down Summer Hill in Douglas, he drives over a big white painted letter O on the road. I told him there used to be the word SLOW there but traffic had erased the S, the L and the W.

‘Oh!’ he said.

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There was scaffolding on a building going up to Douglas Head last week with a sign saying ‘Scaffs ‘r’ Us.’

That’s lovely isn’t?. R.

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My old (he’s in his 90s) friend Fred Wade always notes the inclusion in the front pages of the Examiner and the Manx Independent of ‘tasters’ for stories inside the paper with the numbers of the pages they are on. Fred asks: ‘Why don’t they tell us which page the obits are on?

‘That’s what we’re interested in.’

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My Funnies File reveals that the Manx Independent carried a court story involving a man charged with domestic violence with a headline saying: ‘Tried to kick down flat door.’

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This week’s London Underground driver announced in a West Indian drawl during an extremely hot rush hour on the Central Line: ‘Step right this way for the sauna ladies and gentlemen. Unfortunatley towels are not provided.’

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Crossword: ALEX DOUGLAS HOME.

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