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Victims of domestic abuse urged to speak out
YOU don't have to suffer in silence.
More people are being urged to come forward to report domestic abuse as the Island marks International Elimination of Violence Against Women Day today (Wednesday).
The day is being used to raise public awareness of domestic abuse in all its various guises.
Some 50 per cent of cases involve violence, including sexual assault, but the other forms of domestic abuse — psychological harm, emotional abuse or controlling someone's life financially or by restricting their freedom — can be equally if not more damaging and their effects longer lasting.
This most hidden of offences affects a staggering one in four women and one in six men. Some 89 per cent of cases involve women and 11 per cent men.
It doesn't discriminate and takes place between people of all cultures, religions or classes. There will also be teenagers out there who are being abused by their partners.
And at its heart is one person having power or control over another.
Often it can start gradually — perhaps name calling or threats — but it usually gets worse as time goes by.
Domestic abuse officer Judith Bradford believes the statistics are only the tip of the iceberg, with many cases going unreported and she wants more people to come forward.
'It takes a lot of courage and commitment to see it through,' she said. 'A lot of women who come through it — men as well — come out the other side rather than becoming victims, they become survivors.'
On average, it takes 35 incidents before a person reports domestic abuse.
People who suffer this kind of abuse often stay in the situation, for many different reasons. Perhaps they are frightened to leave as they worry the abuser will try and stop them and become even more violent.
They may also enjoy the good times they have and keep hoping it won't happen again. Men may be hesitant to report abuse because they might feel ashamed.
Often victims don't want their partner criminalised perhaps because they rely on their abuser for financial support or worry about losing access to the children.
But Judith said that reporting doesn't necessarily mean the police have to be involved. 'There are other ways we can deal with things,' she said.
She pointed out that there is lots of support out there — Women's Aid, Victim Support, Manx Housing Trusts, IoM Children's Centre, Relate.
Judith is asking people tomorrow to take five minutes to think: 'Do they have a friend who they suspect is a victim of domestic abuse? If so, saying something. If you feel something is wrong, just ask them. Don't feel you are interfering.'
She said she can offer advice for people to stay safe, and put escape plans in place if things go bad.
Manager for Victim Support Paula Gelling said: 'Domestic violence can ruin people's lives.
'But never forget it is a crime for someone you know to attack you in your own home or elsewhere — whether they are a partner, a family member or someone you share your home with. Whatever the abuser might say, violence like this is never your fault. Nobody has the right to abuse anyone in this way.
'Victims may be made to feel responsible and guilty for the abuse but the source of the problem is the abuser, not you. Victims do not have to suffer in silence.'
Sue Tustain, team manager of the safeguarding team at social services, said research suggests that in relationships where there is domestic violence children witness about three quarters of the incidents.
'People need to recognise how harmful the effects of domestic violence are on children,' she said.
If you're the victim of domestic abuse or know someone who is, you can contact domestic abuse officer Judith Bradford on 631495.
You can also contact Victim Support directly for confidential help, support and information on 679950 or call the Victim Supportline on 0845 30 30 900. Women's Aid can be contacted on 677900.
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Weather for Isle of Man
Tuesday 07 February 2012
Today
Sunny spells
Temperature: 1 C to 7 C
Wind Speed: 16 mph
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Tomorrow
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Temperature: 3 C to 4 C
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