Manx Hockey Blog 6: Here’s looking at you...
Pasty and Thad are on the search for Manx hockey’s best celebrity look-a-likes
ONCE we cross that white line and step onto the hockey pitch, only a fool would doubt that as a collective us Manx hockey players don’t resemble Team GB’s hockey teams (especially during games against Netherlands).
However, this week at Blog HQ we’ve noticed that once off the pitch there are sometimes points in our lives where we are thinking: ‘I’m sure I’ve seen that face before? Was that Christian Davis in Happy Days? Ayyyy?!’
So if there is anyone you know in the Manx hockey community who you’ve always thought resembles someone in the ‘celebosphere’, we’ll publish them here and on our Facebook page. We appreciate we’re about three weeks away from turning into a glossy magazine, we could always have plans in the pipeline for a ‘spotted’ section and a Manx hockey problem page (don’t worry Vikings - we don’t have time).
On a completely unrelated look-a-likey note, wasn’t Tony Borowiak brilliant? What do you mean you don’t know who he is?! He sold 22 million albums in the LA group All-4-One and peaked at number two for seven weeks in 1994 with ‘I Swear’. There he is, on the far right hand side of the above picture with all his pals. Still, fairly irrelevant look-a-like-wise as we can’t think of anyone in the Manx hockey world who Tony looks like, answers on a postcard please, the winner will be the first one opened.
Stay tuned to our Facebook page at Pasty and Thad for more look-a-likes and feel free to send in any of your submissions to email@example.com and we’ll publish them if they are not horrendously offensive, let’s be creative!
WE’VE HELD OFF FIVE WEEKS FROM MENTIONING OUR HERO, SO...
Speaking of look-a-likes, have you ever noticed how Chris Hyde looks a bit like Clark Kent? No, we hadn’t either, but the blog can exclusively reveal that Hyde has been appointed as Chairman of the newly-formed Vikings Emergency Response Committee. The need for a Vikings Emergency Response Committee was first highlighted back in August when Ian Perry was in Cuba getting married had forgotten to pack enough T-shirts and, to his horror, discovered that there were no Adidas shops in Cuba. The need for a method of dealing with such horrific incidents was clear to the Vikings committee.
From formation it was agreed that at the first hint of problems connected with a Vikings player the committee would meet and, if necessary, Hydey would remove his outer layers of ‘normal’ clothing and be left in his all over pink lycra body suit to go and fight Vikings-related crime using his super-human hockey skills. So cunning is Hyde’s disguise to outsiders that he’s spent many, many years hiding the fact he’s actually good at hockey, building up to this day.
To everyone’s amazement, the VERC’s first action took place just days after its formation. Those lucky (?) enough to be in Jen Dougal’s email address book will be aware that Jen recently had her emails hacked.
Of course, it all turned out to be a nasty hacker-type thing, but the first email was really rather convincing. ‘Hi. I hope you can help me?’ It read. ‘We’ve been away on a family holiday, which we’ve had to cut short, because we’re being held by some unknown gunmen. They’ve been holding us for just over a day and they say they need some money. Can you please help?”.
The email was very convincing indeed. The VERC met, and their decision was unanimous. Something needed to be done on welfare grounds. Help was required and quickly.
These poor gunmen desperately trying to find a way of raising enough funds to feed their children had inadvertently walked into their darkest – and longest - day. Now into their 25th hour of Jen Dougal’s conversation, time was running out to save them. There was a very real concern that they may fall into eternal sleep and be unable to save themselves. We’ve been there - we were going to write the blog all summer, but Jen sent us an email in April and we only just woke up... these men were in a dire situation and the decision was taken that they needed rescuing. Hydey left the room for five minutes and came back ready for action.
Fortunately, just as he prepared for departure, another email dropped into the VERC’s inbox. It had all been a hoax. Like one of those films where everything is a bad dream, life just returned to normal. Although half an hour later, Chris Hyde was spotted walking along Prospect Hill wearing a pink lycra body suit.
CHANGED ON ITS OWN VOLE-ITION
The list of personality changes that the Vikings Vole has gone through is quickly becoming as long as Jamie Brown’s disciplinary record. In it’s latest guise as the Valkyrs Vol-Au-Vent, we received the following message:
‘Dear Mr Russell, Unfortunately I have been held against my will during the off season by a rival club. My side is split, lid has disappeared and most of my filling now gone. I fear I may reappear shortly - Loving the blog, has been a while since I have had anything decent to rea - .watch this space. Vol au Vont’
We’re pretty sure the last sentence is a masked criticism, since we’ve produced five blogs already this year, but hell we’re all entitled to a difficult second series.
In the meantime, we’re very intrigued to find out where the Vol(e)-Au-Vent goes next....
GOAL OF THE SEASON?
Rumours of an early contender for goal of the season has plonked itself on the doormat at Blog HQ, with Dani Lomas bagging what was described on the radio as an absolute belter, roofing a fine reverse stick strike from the top of the D.
A contender perhaps even for Les Kelly’s howitzer against Harlequins earlier in the season (which apologies Les we failed to mention here). You’ll just have to score another one Mr Kelly!
I don’t want to talk about hockey this week - the average person uses 57 sheets of toilet paper per day.
A very impressive performance from all of last week’s predictors, or simply a very predictable weekend? We’re not sure, but what we do know is that between Phil, Pasty and Thad only eight results were forecast incorrect out of 45, with Pasty getting 11 out of 15 correct, behind Phil and Thad’s 13 each. Even more unlikely, not one correct score-line was predicted over the entire weekend.
We’ll publish a league table once every club has had a go, but we can confirm that Giggsy still leads the way with an impressive 0.93 points per game ahead of Thad, with Phil (with a H) and Jon (without) just behind. We won’t run down the rest of the league as a treat Kirstie…..
So onto this week; and we have the first predictor from the west in island striker Andrea Kneen. There’s some club pressure from last year’s predictions with Steven Lowe remaining top of the Valkyrs bunch ahead of Andy Mulhern.
Michelle Poyzer did the honourable thing for you and all other Valkyrs ladies though Kneeno by scoring just 5 from her 12 games last season, finishing almost bottom of the pile. No pressure then...
Have a good ‘un!
Pasty and Thad
Valkyrs A 7 v 1 Ramsey A
Castletown Celts 2 v 2 Valkyrs B
Harlequins A 1 v 3 Valkyrs C
Vikings C 1 v 2 Bacchas C
Castletown Cammags 3 v 2 Bacchas Colts
Castletown Cushags Colts 0 v 1 Saracens Sabres
Vikings D 1 v 0 Saracens Sharks
Castletown Southerners 0 v 3 Harlequins B
Bacchas D 2 v 1 Castletown Cosney
Ramsey Ravens 3 v 1 Valkyrs D
Valkyrs U16 2 v 2 Ramsey Rogues
Harlequins U16 0 v 4 Castletown U16
Valkyrs A 6 v 1 Ramsey A
Castletown Celts 2 v 1 Valkyrs B
Harlequins A 2 v 4 Valkyrs C
Vikings C 0 v 3 Bacchas C
Castletown Cammags 1 v 2 Bacchas Colts
Castletown Cushags Colts 2 v 3 Saracens Sabres
Vikings D 1 v 2 Saracens Sharks
Castletown Southerners 1 v 2 Harlequins B
Bacchas D 5 v 2 Castletown Cosney
Ramsey Ravens 6 v 0 Valkyrs D
Valkyrs U16 2 v 3 Ramsey Rogues
Harlequins U16 1 v 2 Castletown U16
Valkyrs A 6 v 0 Ramsey A
Castletown Celts 2 v 1 Valkyrs B
Harlequins A 1 v 5 Valkyrs C
Vikings C 0 v 4 Bacchas C
Castletown Cammags 4 v 1 Bacchas Colts
Castletown Cushags Colts 1 v 4 Saracens Sabres
Vikings D 2 v 2 Saracens Sharks
Castletown Southerners 5 v 2 Harlequins B
Bacchas D 1 v 1 Castletown Cosney
Ramsey Ravens 4 v 2 Valkyrs D
Valkyrs U16 3 v 2 Ramsey Rogues
Harlequins U16 1 v 5 Castletown U16
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Weather for Isle of Man
Monday 20 May 2013
Temperature: 8 C to 14 C
Wind Speed: 23 mph
Wind direction: North west
Temperature: 8 C to 13 C
Wind Speed: 22 mph
Wind direction: North west