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Is the James Russell transfer saga finally at an end?

James Russell - the last instalment

It looks like the Pasty Boy on/off transfer story is finally at an end. Through some undercover journalism, I have been able to acquire a letter which clearly shows that it was in fact James who tried to engineer himself a ‘big-money’ move to Southerners.

With some underhand planting of red herrings, which I have to admit I had fallen for, Pasty Boy was able to manipulate the press to place himself in a commanding position with his own club, forcing them to play him in the higher squad and to renegotiate his club deal.

Here is the letter in full, so you can make up your own mind:

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CASTLETOWN SOUTHERNERS

CRHS Hockey Pitch

Castletown

Isle of Man

James Russsell

Douglas

IM2 4RU

Dear Mr Russell February 17, 2011

RE: TRANSFER REQUEST

We note your continued interest in our team and acknowledge that you are keen to fulfil a role with us.

I would like to bring to your attention that there is a specific set of criterion which one must qualify for in order to be associated with our squad and there may be areas in which you do not quite satisfy the role, as outlined in the points below.

As you know, since the beginning of the season we have worked hard to establish ourselves as the faces of Isle of Man hockey. Youthful, renegade, atheltic and maverick are words that are bandied around in the press when referring to Southerners.

We feel you may be a little ‘old school’ to be associated with the breath of fresh air we have brought to the division. Have you for example worn a snood/sweatband combination?

The overriding Southerners philosophy is that we both attack and defend as a team. We are sadly not in a position to afford the liberty of a striker who is unwilling to move further than three feet away from the far post, although admittedly the aspect of someone being able to divert Mr Williams’ attempts into the goal is a tempting thought.

As a Castletown-based club we train and play mainly at the exposed Castle Rushen astro turf pitch. We are naturally concerned that an international hockey player with a background of playing in the humid Cypriot conditions may struggle to adapt to the ‘local knowledge’ of the surroundings.

Regretfully, in this instance and due to the aforementioned points, we will not be able to offer you a squad place and ask that you please refrain from contacting us further.

I will inform the captain of Cosney of the role you may be best suited for and he should be in touch shortly with an offer, apparently their first choice waterboy has been suffering with the flu.

I wish you the best of luck for all your endeavours; I hope to see you on a post in the near future.

Warmest regards

David Clark-Wilson

Southerners captain and full-time philanthropist

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I definately believe that this is the end of this devious mastemind’s plots, but people should be on their guard. Just remember behind those glasses is a brain that is always coming up with schemes for him to take over the reins of all hockey in the island.

Taxi

The Fat Cat had to use his ‘time-travelling’ taxi again to return to last Saturday to collect Graeme Brown from Cammags’ game against Saracens Sabres. This report came in too late for last week’s blog:

With the scores nailbitingly close at this top of the table clash, Graeme Brown managed to drift unnoticed down the left flank and collect the ball in the D with 95% of an open looming goal at his mercy.

Whether ‘G-force’ is prone to seeing ghostly apparitions is unknown but something must have caught his eye at the back post, he may have even seen the spirit of James ‘Pasty’ Russell who spends most games skulking at the back post trying to steal Steve Cottier’s goals (sometimes even after they’ve crossed the line).

Whatever he saw, this can be the only accountable reason for the ball flying hopelessly wide.....or was he setting his stall out for a partnership with Mr Russell perhaps? TAXI FOR BROWN!

Guess Who?

Last week proved a little difficult, with only one person seeing through the disguise and being able to identify Simon Clarke - well done to Julie Kelly.

The kittens have been at play again this week, I should really take their crayons off them, but since losing their mittens it’s the only comfort they have. So can you be like Julie and be a proud owner of a ‘prize that money cannot buy!’. To be in with a chance email me thefatcat@manx.net - first correct email wins.

Come on join in

As always I’m on the look out for stories of daring do and amazing failure that need to be shared with the hockey fraternity, so why keep it to yourself? Send me a report and maybe your hero/victim can be a proud owner of the t-shirt everyone is after.

Smash and Grab!

The girls from Vikings put together another raiding party for a English Hockey Association Vase trip, this time to Stratford, and they didn’t fail in their ambition of progressing, winning by three goals to nil. Surely this time they will go all the way to the final and are one of the teams of the season for ALL sports.

Get rid of that Dirt

The ladies from Vikings are looking to help finance their trips away and have organised a ‘car wash’ at the Grandstand this Sunday between 10am and 5pm.

So here’s a chance for them to lather you up and sponge you down while you are sat in your car! Go along on Sunday, you know you want to, and support the team who are on the glory trail - tell them the Fat Cat sent you.

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