DUE to an administrative ‘hiccup’ there was no blog online last week, and inboxes at Blog HQ have been overflowing with hundreds of teary letters, sobbing phone-calls and emails about the lack of a blog.
In all seriousness, if the same thing happens in the future, it would be nice to have more than a response from just Hydey. Still, we’ve doubled up, with two Katy Stopfords and a double week of predictions...I bet you can hardly contain yourselves!
Picture above gratefully nominated by Chris ‘Smiler’ McKernan of our first Manx Hockey look-a-like. Whether Smiler is still smiling after Katy sees this blog remains to be seen! Apologies for the lack of a caption but we’ve spent many hours in various public houses across the island studying the photo and are still not entirely convinced which one is which...I think one of them was in Dr Who?
MATCH REPORT AWARDS
If you’ve not yet had the pleasure of experiencing them, it’s well worth reviewing the match reports on fixtures live for some fairly epic match write-ups. Most of the clubs put together some top quality reports of matches, scoured through each week by Pasty and Thad before ridiculing the finer points on these very pages.
Top award, though, has to go to Jon Allen who each week writes the tale of each match as though it were an epic thriller. It’s hard not to get captivated by the twists and turns, subplots and apocalyptic scenarios of each Castletown Cushags Colts game.
Particular highlights in recent weeks have included engine analogies (‘We were miles better than last week when we were firing on one cylinder – the engine was running fine but just a little out of tune.’) and an in-depth breakdown of how Cushags drove league leaders Valkyrs C to their closest game of the season. Very enjoyable.
We feel it would only be appropriate to challenge Jon to fit some words into his blog and would award Jon suitably with the new blog mega-prize, details of which are below. But first, the words ‘platypus’, ‘liquorice’ and ‘Barack Obama’ will need to appear in his write up.
As promised, there are some blog mega-prizes up for grabs in the form of Pasty and Thad ‘Inspiring A Generation’ headbands and these sought-after items have been known to fetch big bucks at the various hockey mhelliahs up and down the island. We are looking for nominations of who you think deserves one of these beautiful blog spot prizes, so please let us know any worthy recipients at firstname.lastname@example.org
(Plus we really need to start shifting some of these, the garage at blog HQ has got now got more Pasty and Thad sweatbands than it has Robson and Green singles, and that’s saying something.)
As an example of the sort of behaviour that may land you with one of these treats, read on for Giggsy’s tale of woe below. Unfortunately, Giggsy has already got one of our mega-prizes from beating us both in the predictions a few weeks ago and we can’t imagine he’ll do anything else quite so stupid for the rest of the season (although we may stand corrected) but get your nominations in now!
A BIT B-READ IN THE FACE
Epic confusion was noted this week at Vikings headquarters, as Michael ‘Giggsy’ Moore took several minutes trying to explain to Hayley Crowe and Jen Dougal how he had recently succumbed to an episode of concussion on the golf course. For several minutes Hayley and Jen questioned Giggsy on how exactly he had managed to concuss himself half way through a round of golf with a sandwich.
Slightly annoyed by having to explain the story for a third time to the rare specimens afore him, Giggsy once again outlined that he had attempted to extricate his putter from his stick bag with intimidating flair (no, we can’t visualise it either), but had, in the process, accidentally pulled out not only his putter but also his sandwich which had flown in the air and come down to hit Giggsy square in the forehead, at which point stars had appeared around his head.
A bit like in a Tom & Jerry cartoon (we’re not sure which one Giggsy is...answers on a postcard, please).
What type of sandwich could possibly create such an eventuality? Where did Giggsy source such weighty bread? Why were Jen and Hayley asking bread-related questions? After several minutes of questioning, Giggsy realised the problem. He was, of course, referring to his sand wedge. The hilarity which ensued allegedly lasted for several seconds.
When Giggsy told us this story, it was clear that he wished to be depicted as a hero of the tale. However, Giggsy, there’s no getting away from the fact that you still managed to hit yourself in the head with your own golf club. It’s a pity you have already won our blog mega-prize (with a value approaching £3.46), because this eventuality would earn it for you.
In the absence of finding any amusing pictures of Giggsy with either a sandwich or a sand wedge for our Facebook page, we have resorted to posting yet another picture of an impressive hockey bruise to our page, which surprisingly belongs to a team-mate as our original bruised socialite. Prizes for guessing the owners of the bruises and add your vote for the best one...
We can’t work out whether this is because of an increased level of competitiveness at Saracens for the best bruise, or they simply don’t teach ‘running out of the way’ at Saracens shooting training but either way we’re impressed by the injury!
FOR FLICK’S SAKE...
Some entertaining goings on in Plate matches last week, prompting several clubs to spend swathes of training practicing penalty flicks over the next few weeks. An epic Vikings/Ramsey match down at the NSC resulted in a quite stunning 4-4 draw.
A much less epic Valkyrs/Saracens match ended in a much less stunning 0-0 draw out west (although we’ll take nothing away from Valkyrs performance in that game). The NSC match started off well with three penalties being scored before the final seven were missed. Saracens only managed to scratch a lead in the ninth nail-biting round of penalty flicks out west.
‘Before feeling too sorry for the Saracens and Valkyrs goalkeepers and fans, I remember back to my youth growing up in Argentina. In the 1988-89 Argentine Championship, penalties were taken after drawn matches for an extra point. In one match on November 20, 1988 between Argentinos Juniors and Racing Club which had finished 2-2, 44 penalties were taken before Argentinos emerged as 20-19 victors.’
We were expecting big things two weeks ago in the predictions, after Sarah Blackman took the Mystic Mog league title last year while predicting the first round of the cup/plate matches. Due to the fact that in the first round there are often teams from different divisions playing each other, this is often easy to predict, or at least should be...
Shame on Thad then, who broke records by scoring just two points from the 27 on offer, gaining the lowest weekly score ever seen in the two years of the blog. Pasty didn’t perform too much better in an unpredictable week with five points, but topping Tops as the most successful northerner yet, Vicky showed formidable skills beating us both with an impressive score of seven out of the nine games, helped by forecasting the correct score in the Valkyrs B vs Vikings B match.
Congratulations Vicky, not only have you become the pride of Ramsey Hockey Club, you’ve also won yourself a glorious blog mega-prize to wear to training each week!
Last week it was time for another of the all-whites to have a go, with Bacchas supremo Niamh Goddard to pit her wits against us for the chance to win our prize...and sure enough she’s also in line for a mega-prize, forecasting two perfect results on the road to an impressive 12 points out of the 14 games, just trailing behind Giggsy and Phil the Thrill for the league lead. Pasty and Thad failed to impress with eight and nine points respectively.
On to this week’s predictions and we’ve got somewhat of a blog heroine to forecast them, step forward Katy.
Katy Stopford (born Katy Stopford on 12 May 1968) is an English actress, writer and comedienne. She has won numerous awards for her work on the sketch comedy series The Katy Stopford Show as well as being nominated for an International Emmy Award and seven BAFTA Awards. Following the success of The Katy Stopford Show, Stopford played Donna Noble in the 2006 Christmas special of Doctor Who and later reprised her role, becoming the Doctor’s companion for the fourth series in 2008.
Have a good ‘un!
Pasty and Thad
Castletown Celts 3 v 2 Vikings B
Bacchas A 1 v 1 Vikings A
Valkyrs A 3 v 1 Bacchas B
Valkyrs B 0 v 3 Ramsey A
Castletown Cushag Colts 1 v 4 Bacchas Colts
Bacchas C 1 v 4 Valkyrs C
Harlequins A 0 v 3 Vikings C
Saracens Sabres 0 v 2 Castletown Cammags
Castletown Cosney 3 v 2 Valkyrs D
Bacchas D 2 v 4 Saracens Sharks
Ramsey Ravens 3 v 0 Castletown Southerners
Harlequins U16 1 v 5 Bacchas U16
Ramsey Rascals 8 v 0 Castletown U16
Ramsey Rogues 2 v 2 Vikings U16
Castletown Celts 1 v 1 Vikings B
Bacchas A 4 v 1 Vikings A
Valkyrs A 6 v 1 Bacchas B
Valkyrs B 2 v 2 Ramsey A
Castletown Cushag Colts 2 v 2 Bacchas Colts
Bacchas C 4 v 3 Valkyrs C
Harlequins A 2 v 0 Vikings C
Saracens Sabres 5 v 1 Castletown Cammags
Castletown Cosney 1 v 2 Valkyrs D
Bacchas D 1 v 2 Saracens Sharks
Ramsey Ravens 5 v 1 Castletown Southerners
Harlequins U16 2 v 4 Bacchas U16
Ramsey Rascals 3 v 3 Castletown U16
Ramsey Rogues 2 v 2 Vikings U16
Castletown Celts 2 v 1 Vikings B
Bacchas A 4 v 2 Vikings A
Valkyrs A 4 v 1 Bacchas B
Valkyrs B 0 v 3 Ramsey A
Castletown Cushag Colts 3 v 2 Bacchas Colts
Bacchas C 1 v 2 Valkyrs C
Harlequins A 4 v 0 Vikings C
Saracens Sabres 4 v 2 Castletown Cammags
Castletown Cosney 4 v 3 Valkyrs D
Bacchas D 2 v 1 Saracens Sharks
Ramsey Ravens 3 v 1 Castletown Southerners
Harlequins U16 0 v 4 Bacchas U16
Ramsey Rascals 2 v 1 Castletown U16
Ramsey Rogues 3 v 1 Vikings U16