AQUARIUS (JAN 20 - FEB 18) 

A Black Friday deal might not be all what it seems.. 

PISCES (FEB 19- MAR 20) 

AVOID STEPPING IN FRONT OF CARS. This is just good advice more than anything. 

ARIES (MAR 21- APR 19) 

Don't be scared of rejection. Instead, get used to it. 

TAURUS (APR 20- MAY 20) 

Work to your strengths this week, even if your strengths are downing pints.  

GEMINI (MAY 21- JUN 21) 

Relationships are about give and take. This week, try the giving part. 

CANCER (JUN 22 - JUL  22) 

This week, you have the choice between eating healthily, or actually having some joy in this miserable life. Choose wisely. 

LEO (JUL 23 - AUG 22)

It's nice to be nice, but more fun to be a bitch. Choose which you prefer this week. 

VIRGO (AUG 23- SEPT 22) 

Struggling with your relationships? Working is a good alternative to valuable human connections, probably. 

LIBRA (SEPT 23- OCT 22) 

Everyone enjoys being flattered. This is a great week to kiss-ass and lick boots. 

SCORPIO (OCT 23-NOV 22) 

Exfoliate this week, or face having a spot the size of Snaefell. Don't say I didn't warn you. 

SAGITTARIUS (NOV 23 - DEC 21) 

Sometimes a break up is exactly what you need. Look at Adele? Thriving. 

CAPRICORN  (DEC 22- JAN 19) 

Feel like it's time for things to go your way? Maybe wait until next week.