AQUARIUS (JAN 20 - FEB 18) 

Instead of Dry January, attempt Wet January. I'll let you interpret what that is.

PISCES (FEB 19- MAR 20) 

You could commit to Veganuary, or you could accept that January, in a pandemic, is depressing and allow yourself to have a bit of cheese. Your choice.

ARIES (MAR 21- APR 19) 

Do something everyday this week that scares you. Quit your job, move abroad in a pandemic. Scary.

TAURUS (APR 20- MAY 20) 

You might have something to share with someone. The best way is to tell them is to get really, really, really drunk and message them. 

GEMINI (MAY 21- JUN 21) 

Enjoying a new gym habit? Good, because it's probably the last week of New Year, New You. 

CANCER (JUN 22 - JUL  22) 

An exciting opportunity to not leave the house will emerge this week. Luxuriate in what you like best: staying in bed. 

LEO (JUL 23 - AUG 22)

You've already failed this Dry January, haven't you?

VIRGO (AUG 23- SEPT 22) 

You're known for your dedication and competence. This year, commit to a new year and new you by being late and grossly incompetent. 

LIBRA (SEPT 23- OCT 22) 

Anything embarrassing you did in the festive period has been erased in the New Year. Take solace in that lie, Libra. 

SCORPIO (OCT 23-NOV 22) 

Just remember there are 3 weeks until payday. You can make it through. I believe in you. 

SAGITTARIUS (NOV 23 - DEC 21) 

Disappointed with your Christmas presents? There's always birthdays... nearly a year away...

CAPRICORN  (DEC 22- JAN 19) 

Flattery goes a long way, especially if you're wanting some decent presents... or a good horoscope reading.