What about the Royal Family then? We don’t seem to be very amused, do we?

Or as someone remarked: ’Aye up lad, there’s trouble up at ’t Palace’.

I feel sorry for the Queen. She does her best but kids are the same the world over.

They always seem to have a trick up their sleeves. You think that at last they’re settling down and beginning to behave themselves, then pop goes a Prince and here we go again.

This expanded group of tiaras, top hats and uniforms can occasionally be seen en bloc on one of those palace balcony photographs that are designed to show the nation that our heritage is in safe hands.

The Queen is a true Sovereign.

She has broken every world record in the ’Queens and Monarchs’ categories that you could imagine and at the age of 93 she still works a seven-day week.

Her husband, the Duke of Edinburgh, is himself a tough old 98-year-old who only recently has retired from official duties. However I have heard rumours that he has a part-time job as a test driver for Land Rover.

The royal parents have kept well abreast with the national statistics averages. They have seen three of their four children’s marriages end in divorce, with Prince Charles and Princess Anne having a second try in the matrimonial department.

Their brother, Prince Andrew, however, has directed his efforts towards travelling abroad and making new friends.

So, what do you think about the royals?

Do we need the monarchy or would we all be better off with an elected president as the head of state?

Everything about the royals just costs money. Just think about the savings that the nation could make.

For example, the fleet of royal coaches and carriages. The upkeep of that lot must cost a small fortune and, when you take into account the few times in each year that they actually come out of the royal shed and see the light of day, well I think you know what I mean.

Then there are the horses. How much do you think it costs to keep a couple of teams of Windsor Greys in good order?

Ask anyone you know who has anything at all to do with horses about how much it costs to keep one or two.

The Queen has dozens of them.

There are palaces and castles scattered around the country. There’s the royal train, the royal helicopter and the royal Corgies. Even the police protection squad must be a logistical nightmare to organise and a small fortune to pay for.

So should we call it a day and pension them all of?

Absolutely, completely, most definitely, no!

Do they give value for money? Without the shadow of a doubt, yes!

In my humble opinion, Your Majesty, and your assorted Royal Highnesses (whichever is applicable), the royal family is all too often accused of being out of touch with reality and the rest of the nation.

Well, deep inside the Pullyman archives there is one document which could change your opinion.

This is a set of three Buckingham Palace balcony photos, taken from a newspaper, of The Queen, Princes Philip, Charles, Harry and Princess Anne. The royals have just returned after a quick troop of the colour.

Photo one shows a poker-faced Prince Philip looking straight ahead. The others, including the Queen, turn to look and begin to smile.

In the second picture, the Queen regains her composure.

In photo three, the Queen looks away. Charles and Anne chuckle, Harry laughs.

Philip slightly raises his body to one side and smirks.

What’s it all about? The answer is blowing in the wind. The photos hang in our loo.