Could you be a foster carer? Tower of Refuge lights up for Foster Care Fortnight

The Tower of Refuge will be lit up orange on 25th May to commemorate Foster Care Fortnight.

It’s the UK’s biggest awareness campaign for fostering and the Isle of Man has been showing its support by putting on two weeks-worth of events from 12th-25th May, not only to celebrate all the brilliant work done by foster carers on the island but hopefully recruit new ones.

I had the pleasure of speaking with two local foster carers (who will remain anonymous) and two stalwarts in The Family Placement Service, Kristy Canipa the Family Support Worker for the Fostering Team, and Jen Fells, the Fostering Team Leader.

‘I'm three years in and I absolutely love it,’ Carer One tells me. ‘The boy with me was meant to be short term, but I'm keeping him long term. I've learned so much and I’ve made great relationships with fellow foster carers and social workers.’

That sense of community and connection is what this year’s theme for Foster Care Fortnight – The Power of Relationships - is what foster care is all about. But before we jump into why you, dear reader, could be an excellent candidate for foster caring, let’s look at what foster care is at its core.

‘It’s about providing peace. If a child has come from chaos, it’s about bringing a feeling of security, helping them feel safe, loved, and nurtured,’ says Jen.

But there can be hurdles that come in the form of misconceptions about foster care that stand in the way of people volunteering.

‘People think children come into care because they're beyond parental control, which often isn't the case,’ Jen tells me. ‘Children come into care due to family breakdowns, loss, bereavement, illness, there are many different reasons.’

‘Having empathy for the birth family is important, because nobody wishes to have their child removed, the majority of families do their best and love their children,’ Carer Two tells me. ‘The aim is to build a relationship with the birth family that has healthy boundaries but allows you to be a team to ensure that we are all working together which is in the best interests of the child.’

‘Lots of our foster parents’ work,’ Kristy tells me. ‘There just needs to be flexibility in there, because being a foster carer is demanding, there are lots of meetings with social workers etc.’

‘It’s important to remember sometimes the ultimate goal is getting children to a place where they’re ready to return home,’ Carer Two says. ‘It’s about doing what’s best for the child. And even when children move on, there are still relationships there.’

‘You have to have a spare room and have children who are over the age of two years children over the age of two need their own room,’ Jen says. ‘We also check there are no big events coming up like planning to move house. You don’t need any specific qualifications (as training will be given), or a partner, as long as your fit, healthy and committed to the role.’

There are multiple types of foster care placements to go into. Short term, long-term, emergency, short breaks, and respite care. Carer Two started in respite and now looks after a boy long term, who came to her in emergency circumstances.

‘Both were an absolute joy. It can feel a bit overwhelming to begin with because you’re hyper-conscious of doing everything ‘right’ but then as soon as the routine comes, everything falls into place. And here we are nine years later. It’s fabulous.’

The process from start to finish takes about 6 months. It’s a very thorough assessment and includes education sessions. Training is provided to give you a flavour of the fostering roles and responsibilities. Jen commented that it is important to note that ‘foster carers also get financial support so children in care get as many different opportunities as possible to help them become the best version of themselves’.

The big question is, does the Isle of Man have enough foster carers? The short answer is no. We need more.

‘There are hundreds of people out there that are not coming forward who would make the most incredible foster carers. We understand it's something you don't go into lightly, but we really want to encourage people to get in touch so we can talk you through the process and see whether or not it is right for you and your family,’ Kristy tells me.

So, when you see the Tower of Refuge lit up orange on the 25th May, remember it’s a commemoration to all the wonderful foster carers and reminder that you could be one of them.