Today (Tuesday) is the start of Baby Loss Awareness Week throughout the British Isles and in the island it will be marked by a number of landmark buildings being illuminated in pink and blue.

The idea of the week is to raise awareness: the death of a baby is not a rare event but one which affects thousands of people each year around the British Isles.

A spokesperson for the organisers said: ’There is no fundraising involved, merely a show of compassion and an attempt to break the taboo around pregnancy and baby loss.’

It also offers an opportunity for bereaved parents, their families and friends, to commemorate the lives of babies who died during pregnancy, at or soon after birth and in infancy. Tori Smithie who founded a very special location, the Sleeping Angel Wood in West Baldwin, to help bereaved families said: ’People don’t tend to talk about it, it’s still taboo.’

Tori explained how the idea for the commemorative wood, where families could plant a tree in memory of their baby, came to her: ’I had a boy that was stillborn many years ago then a miscarriage in 2008.

’I came home after the miscarriage with nothing more to remember the baby by than an envelope.’

Not longer after, following a day helping to plant trees with the Woodlands Trust, Tori had a dream so vivid it woke her in the early hours of the morning.

In it she saw a woman in a smart business suit in wood holding a teddy bear.

When she dropped the bear another woman, this time in a track suit, picked it up for her and they stood holding hands.

Tori recalled: ’When I woke up I knew exactly what I needed to do. I needed to plant trees.’

Sleeping Angel Wood was established as a charity and the site was given to them by the government.

Donations have allowed them to supply trees for free to the families who want to remember their babies.

Comfort

Tori said: ’It will never replace what they have lost but it’s a way to say: "Yes, there was somebody who should have been here and here’s a place to remember them".’

It provides a peaceful and sympathetic location for families who have lost a baby: ’For many of them graveyards are such morbid places,’ said Tori.

She went on: ’Everyone who goes up there to the wood is there for the same reason and that builds up a network of people they can talk to.

’Often they find that the number of trees already there is a comfort - we planted 38 trees in our first year.’

Unlike a traditional funeral there is no pressure on families to to do the planting on a set date or time.

Tori said: ’Often when we show them round the wood they will say to us: "It’s lovely and I can’t wait to plant a tree but today is not the day to do it".

’So we tend to give everyone the details and say: "When you want to, turn up and plant your tree". There’s no pressure: it’s their journey of grief.’

â?¢ Baby Loss Awareness Week is held annually from October 9 to 15.

Douglas Council and the Department of Infrastructure will be turning the following landmarks pink and blue on the following dates: The Tower of Refuge: from 7pm to midnight on October 15; Douglas Town Hall and town centre all week; Ramsey swing bridge all week.