Me and Brown Eyes were sitting having breakfast the other day when she said that she had just remembered that she had a message for me.

It was from a mutual friend who had asked her to tell me that she, the friend, thought that someone was trying to hack into my computer.

'Is that so?’ I said to Brown Eyes.

'Yes’ she said.

'So what does that mean?' I said. So she told me.

Now I thought that 'hacking' was something that you did to another kid when you were playing football at school.

'No', Brown Eyes explained, 'hacking in a computer sense is what some people do to someone else’s computer, for example, yours'.

'They tell lies pretending to be you, and then by being very clever, convince your computer that they really are you.

'Then they can read all your information such as codes and passwords, which could give access to your bank accounts.

'Oh', I said, in that case I’ll have to give this a bit of thought.

Now I don’t know about you, but I have never trusted computers to be a safe and secure guardian of my private information.

I rarely buy anything 'online’, my last transaction was made well over a year ago.

I always try to buy locally first.

If that fails, I search on Google.

If I find what I am looking for, the supplier must have a telephone sales line.

I will never pay with a debit card.

I only use a credit card that I clear in full each month.

I never use online banking in any shape or form. EVER.

Last week, I received an email from the Isle of Man Bank.

It looked real.

It contained several pages of closely typed script and ’official’ logos.

It looked official.

It was addressed to John Cowin. It was deleted without a second look.

Most days I’ll receive a couple of ’friend’ requests.

I do not think for one minute that they are legitimate, they are always deleted.

If a friend request is sent to me, I have no doubt that Face Book, or whatever they are called, will be sending a reciprocal request, on my behalf, to my well-wisher.

And if you have a couple of minutes to spare, why not try this.

Use Google to find a supplier of say a pair of skis, and email them with an enquiry.

You can bet your boots that within a couple of days, you will also be cold called by some other supplier.

Another example of perpetual airwave detritus, is text messaging.

If I phone and order a taxi, an automatic text message is sent to thank me for my request.

A second text will tell me that my car is on the way and is a Honda whatever.

Text three will inform me that the cab has arrived, and is waiting outside the door.

And finally, text four will thank me for using A1 taxis.

Another personal irritation is the audio ’Ping Pong’ of appointment reminders, and for me, the final straw was the repeated calls from the blonde, Russian lady who was eager to chat to me about her pet cat.

A call into the Manx Telecom phone shop one morning and my sanity was restored.

A pleasant young assistant surgically removed all texting facilities and handed me back a single-minded mobile phone.

This little chat could go on for a long time, but I think that I’m close to making my point.

Here is a question for you.

Do you have one of those Alexa gadgets in the house?

You know the sort of thing that I mean.

You address it by name to switch it on and then you can ask it to answer any question you like.

I suppose that you could describe it as a remote control Google in reverse.

Now what were you saying about hacking?