Zoe Cannell is the sixth poet from the Isle of Man to be named the Manx Bard.

Each month she will share a poem with us and explain what led her to write it.

A light-hearted poem this month, with the fictional characters of Mr Scare Crowe, Mr Tyn Mann and Mr Cowardly Lyon; based on the beloved story of The Wizard of Oz, but given a Manx twist!

The traditional role of Bard is a storyteller, but was perhaps better utilised before Netflix, or even books!

This was a fun poem to write and so many topical ideas to explore. Although the characters followed the messy Glencrutchery Road, they found there was nothing we Manx really need as the government and its citizens have done an amazing job protecting our island throughout coronavirus.

SOMEWHERE OVER THE RAINBOW

25th June at 10.00pm, we heard wild thunder crash

And took videos on our iPhones; captured every lightning flash.

Manx farmers hailed the downpour, as their fields were turning brown.

Others staring through the windows, prayed they’d tied their things tight down.

POW! A house was swept up in the storm; whisked through constituencies.

Not any old yellow-bricked dwelling, this was â?¦ The House of Keys!

From its Wedding Cake site lifted, flew (unlike us!) and ’til when

It finally came to rest with the gnomes, perched in Summerhill Glen.

Killed the Wicked Witch of East Baldwin, her red wellies the only bit

Left sticking out under the Chamber - the place Tim Baker would usually sit.

One MHK had been stuck inside, peeked out: "Where did I land?"

"You must be proper Manx. Whichever way you are thrown, you stand."

"Fire me back to Finch Road in a cannon. We’ve borders to sort, you see."

The gnomes advised: "To return, first must find The Wizard of CrOZby.

Via the famous Course you must venture to reach his mystical abode,

So, Follow Follow Follow Follow Follow Glencrutchery Roadâ?¦"

The MHK wore the red Geoffrey Boots. Though ’The White Lady’ she’d pass,

The only folklore Wizard she knew was the one out at Ballaglass.

Three yessirs had been out on the Okell’s; and were gravity defying.

"Fastyr Mie! It’s blowin’ a hoolie! We’re Mr Crowe, Mr Mann, Mr Lyon."

"I’m in quest of The Wizard of Crosby. Please Parish Walk along with me too."

"Is that Howard Quayle?", asked the fellas, "with Ballavitchel as his HQ?

We, too, need urgent assistance, each of us is lacking a valuable feature:

Mr Crowe - wisdom, Mr Mann - love, Mr Lyon to be a brave creature."

"We’re off to see The Wizard. The Wonderful Wizard of Crosby".

Witnessing cars rounding ’The Nook’; the direction opposite of The TT,

Observed drivers as they were pausing; they’d nervously doubt a road-mark.

The top of Victoria Road was resembling the Stock Cars at Onchan Park.

Mr Crowe cawed: "Crosby’s developing; a Co-op will be

built to supply

Wine and chocolate; it’s fast becoming a land heard of once, in a lullaby.

When the group travelled past The Grandstand, the profanities were flyin’.

"I’d prefer negotiating the Wildlife Park", said anxious Mr Lyon.

Mr Crowe was getting tense. He didn’t think one brain would do.

"To navigate these new traffic schemes, I think I’ll ask for two!"

Mr Tynwald Mann, (shortened to ’Tyn’), had had a change of heart.

"Such reorganisations of Douglas cause palpitations sharp to start!"

Backed-up queues at St Ninian’s, but these four were heading straight,

To turn left with the filter-lane lessened, they would have a mighty wait.

Now a painted ’Cycle and Bus Lane’ will be used

just thrice per hour.

Through Marown they journeyed and came to the Middle seat of power,

The Wizard asked: "how ’ard was your trip? What seek you, here, of me?’

(Though actually hoped for a pub meal) - "Knowledge, Valour, Empathyâ?¦"

"Can I click my heels to go straight home?" - question tabled (MHK)

"Tut Tut! Mann is shut! We’re ALL at home, and cannot go away.

Though you wished for these qualities, you’re already at capacity

Throughout this Covid Crisis, the Manx have shown they’ve great tenacity.

There’s nothing to offer Islanders you don’t all richly have,

Except the DOI - town planners, bottles of Turps, and a Sat Nav!"

by Zoe cannell

www.manxbard.im

Twitter:@iomnewspapers