Being confined to just the walls of your home for long periods of time with very few visits from loved ones is a very bleak picture to take in.

This lonely portrait is sadly the reality for many elderly residents in the Isle of Man - a place with an ageing population.

According to Age UK, 1.9 million older people often feel ignored or invisible and these feelings can place a large strain on people’s mental health, leading to depression and poor physical health.

Understanding the issue, Southern Befrienders provides care and attention to about 160 older people (members) stretching from Santon to the Calf of Man.

The charity has been running since 2005 and has about 130 volunteers (befrienders) who take time to give one-on-one support or take part in social events.

Rosemary Adams, from Port Erin, struck up the courage to approach the charity in 2011.

’My husband had died and a lot of my friends as well because they were old. It was then that I felt very lonely,’ she said.

’I must have read about Southern Befrienders in an article. What I needed at that time was a theatre buddy, someone to go out with because that is what I missed most when Harry died. I didn’t drive and lost the car after he died.

’I have two children, five grandchildren and six great grandchildren. My family are as far away as Norway and Australia. I had nobody.’

It was a little wait for Rosemary to find the right befriender, as the charity ensures the perfect person is matched with each member.

’We began with theatre outings and then they started to have meals out. My hearing has become bad, so I can no longer go to the theatre and now go out for meals,’ she said.

The visits have helped and her confidence has continued to grow. She immersed herself into group events and exercises the very special role of being the bingo caller.

’I had the need to be needed,’ she said.

’Sitting at home on my own I hated it. I was never alone before as I’m from a big family and married into a big family and we used to run a guest house, Water Edge, by the seafront in Port Erin.’

When Harry passed away Rosemary ’felt like life was finished’.

’I was really, really down. Thankfully with the Befrienders and other social groups I pulled myself out and I’ve made more friends.

’I had to make myself go out and find things to do and that wasn’t easy. I did force myself because I realised it’s up to me, I cannot sit at home and mope, but not everybody can do that.’

Similar feelings of loneliness had hit Rosemary when her first husband died of cancer.

She remembers a doctor telling her: ’What you’re feeling is normal, it’s just how things are when you go through that. You need to get in touch with some groups.’

Rosemary added: ’Talking is the answer when you’re suffering with mental health issues.’

Rosemary’s sunny disposition is infectious and even though she has been through harsh times, she soldiers on. Her recent challenge is having to use a walking frame. ’I’m embarrassed about it,’ she admitted. When taking it out for the first time she was helped by strangers, which made her feel better.

’We live in a caring community,’ said Val Haslam, scheme manager at Southern Befrienders.

However she added that since ’people are very busy they may not notice elderly people in difficulty’.

’If someone was to ask for support they’d give it willingly,’ she said.

’The biggest challenge is reaching those invisible people. They’re isolated behind their front door.

’It’s very difficult unless friends, neighbours and family members look around and realise they haven’t seen that gentleman from up the road any more and realise that people need support.’

The charity is addressing the gap between the elderly and younger people and have an inter-generational scheme in place at Castle Rushen High School for sixth form students.

The students go in with a memory box which they add to over time, which provides them with something to talk about.

Southern Befrienders also runs events in primary schools where children and elderly people can build their social skills while doing crafts.

The idea is to get young and old together to ’learn about challenges facing all generations’.

Val works with social events co-ordinator Mandy Karsa and scheme co-ordinator, Debbie Lowe, who matches the befrienders with members.

Volunteers are vetted and DBS checked and then go through induction training.

Catie Angus, from Port Erin, became a befriender for another elderly woman in 2008. Both she and the 92-year-old member share an interest in ’amateur dramatics’.

’It took us a little while for us to get to know each other.

’She was a bit nervous as so was I. It’s all about finding out who you are and once we did that we became friends,’ she said.

’We loved gardening and she would give me cuttings and seeds from her garden as well as some tips.

’We developed a routine and would see her on a Thursday for three hours.

’She only lives up the road and we would go into Shoprite and as neither of us like to do the shopping we would always joke about it.

’She wasn’t always the easiest of people to get on with, but she could always make me laugh.

’It’s very rewarding being a befriender and you get a lot back.

’I usually play the piano at social events and come away feeling you’ve made quite a bit of a difference.’

She added that being a ’naturally nosy’ person, she enjoys hearing about people’s lives.

’I think we’re very ageist. Just because people are older doesn’t mean they aren’t interesting or funny,’ she continued.

’I suppose it’s about being not discriminating and looking at older people and thinking: "I’ll be like that one day and I don’t want to be bored or ignored".’

â?¢ Find out more at www.southernbefrienders.im or phone 01624 833025