Have you ever opened the paper and read about something that some ’Smart Alec’ whizz-kid has just invented?

You know the sort of thing that I mean.

A gadget that we all agree is the best thing since chips were cooked in beef dripping.

Yes, you’re right, we’ve all done that.

Do you remember the man who invented the cat’s eyes? Well I was talking to this bloke in Peel who swears that he’d thought of that idea first, but you know the rule.

First come, first served and when you read about it in the paper, it’s too late.

So listen to this, as I think that this idea could be a flyer.

Now I’m sure that you will have heard the rumours that the boys-in-the-know are talking about.

The story on the block is that this virus seems to be starting to lose its sting.

If it has got any truth about it we should make some plans to avoid being caught out.

There are hints that Boris is trying to kick start the ’back to work’ movement but he can’t find a way around the issue of people who want to use the trains.

The fact is that if we follow the rules as they stand, we will not be allowed to fit more than six passengers into each carriage of the train.

So what about this for an idea?

Imagine if the ordinary bog-standard railway carriage had all of the seats, tables, luggage racks, hanging-on-to-the-ceiling straps, absolutely every thing including the dividing partitions stripped out.

Just think about the size of the empty space that would be created.

Then imagine if that space was divided into long rows of individual passenger-sized capsules, each with access to a narrow, one-way only corridor.

This would probably create at least four long rows of passenger accommodation for folk whose only requirement was an individual, isolated and safe-from-infection method of travelling to work.

Unfortunately, even though this might be an absolutely brilliant idea, it will never go anywhere because it was invented by some soft old so-and-so from Pulrose.

The same thing applies to these daily virus updates.

If you have a few minutes to spare, just check out the next one that you see on telly.

There will be two or three experts who will each give us all the latest news and then repeat the same answer to each of the news reporters who all get a turn to ask the same question over and over again.

Have you noticed that practically all of these experts have the title of either professor or doctor?

It’s very reassuring to know that the best brains in the land are on the ball with their answers to those guardians of our political freedom, the press correspondents from goodness knows where.

But if I was a reporter, eager to know why the medical specialists, the nurses and doctors on the wards, had a shortage of basic equipment such as masks or surgical gloves or whatever, I would have phoned ’stores’ and had a word on Harry, the man in charge of the department.

Sometimes, when I find that I have a problem to sort out, I will always look for who’s in charge and ask him for help.

For one thing, he probably can and, for another, if he is asked properly, he probably will.

For example, if you need help with the design of a train carriage, you don’t want a professor from Oxford, you need a railway engineer from Crewe.

There is no doubt that the poor old world is in a sorry state and we will need all the professors that we can find to get on with the job of trying to fix it.

We also need press correspondents to report facts that are true and not just sensational, and we need political oppositions who believe in a common good and not in self service.

And I think that I’ll try to sell the train idea to the Chinese.